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[媒体报道] Arseblog:独家!巴塞罗那内部笔记

Arseblog:独家!巴塞罗那内部笔记

发信人: Svensson (重工业|绝对蓝领), 信区: Arsenal
标  题: Arseblog:独家!巴塞罗那内部笔记
发信站: 水木社区 (Thu Jul 15 23:55:18 2010), 站内

FC Barcelona Internal Memo - FAO all players.
巴塞罗那内部笔记,全员注意!

Note:原作者貌似最近火气很大,现在已经开始说相声了,当然,最近没有什么有新意的乳摸,伊也是闲得发慌。这篇搞笑的方式有点英式,说实话不是很好翻译。。凑合看吧。至于下面的日期,全是架空的,有心留意的话会发现七月十五号是周四,不是周三。。。。

Estimados jugadores de FC Barcelona, por favor, find attached el schedule por el talking jibber-jabber de Cesc Fabregas.
亲爱的巴塞罗那球员们,以下是我们对小法转会问题的如何表态的日程表:

Wednesday July 15th - Lionel Messi: Please mention the fact you played with Cesc in the youth team at Barcelona. Do not mention you were 3'2 at the time or, indeed, are 3'2 now. Or we'll stop giving you your growth sweeties.
周三-梅西:你还记得你在青年队的时候跟小法踢过球么?那个时候你还不到一米高,
哦不对,其实你现在也不到一米。千万要记得,否则不给你糖吃。

Thursday July 16th - Xavi: Despite the fact you are one of the most senior players and your performances on the pitch cannot be faulted in any way we believe your jibber-jabbering requires some work. We know you love Cesc's DNA, and long to slurp it up from ornate goblets, but please do not mention it, his head or his heart. Should you feel the need to talk about his internal organs, his genetic make up or even his hairstyle, please note that your statement will require approval.
周四-虾唯:尽管你是队里最老的球员之一,尽管你的表现毋庸置疑,不过我还是得说你丫实在是太鸡婆了。。。。大家都知道你特喜欢小法的DNA,做梦都想着哪一天把小法的DNA搁在高脚杯里像品葡萄酒一样喝掉,不过千万不要打他的头和心脏的主意。如果你对他的内脏,基因构成或者发型有什么意见的话,请提交书面申请。

Friday July 17th - Gerard Pique: We would prefer you didn't say anything at all but do you think you could spit on Arsene Wenger when he's not looking? We have every confidence that you can fulfill this task but please remember if carrying this out in a very public place there may be cameras.
周五-匹克:我觉得你最好啥也别跟媒体说,不过你真的觉得你可以在背后朝温格吐口水么?当然我们对此非常有信心,当然公开吐的话肯定遍地都是记者的镜头。

Saturday July 18th - Sergio Busquets: You will play a crucial role in the capture of Cesc. If and when Arsenal negotiate we want you with us. When given the signal you will fall to the ground under the slightest contact screaming as if every bone in your body has been shattered. When Gazidis goes to check you're all right we shall put Cesc under our coat and make a break for it. You may use your patented peekaboo to ensure the coast is clear before you magically heal and leave the room. If they capture you we will go on without you.
周六-影帝:我们要去跟阿森纳谈小法的转会问题了,你的任务最为艰巨。我们会带你去伦敦谈判,等我暗号,受到之后马上倒地哀嚎,一定要让别人觉得他把你全身的骨头都捏碎了。当加斯蒂斯过去检查你的身体时候,我们会把小法裹在大衣里带走。你可以用你的招牌式“旁光”(这个大家都知道是啥吧哈哈)查看一下周围的敌情,可别马马虎虎的直接喊春哥的名字原地满血复活,这样你肯定走不掉的。如果你被他们扣下了,我们会记得你的。。。。

Sunday July 19th - Andrés Iniesta: You are excused from this current round of public tapping-up but for God's sake man go get some sun. You look like a footballing corpse. There have been complaints from some parents that their children are having nightmares about you. 'The man with the face of a phantom' they call you. Sort it.
周日-伊涅斯塔:这次训话你不用来了,不过看在上帝的份上你还是出来晒晒太阳吧,你现在看着跟个踢球的丧尸差不多。我们现在手里有不少家长对你的投诉,说他们的孩子看了那个长着一张鬼脸的家伙踢球之后一直在做噩梦。

Monday July 20th  - Carles Puyol: Puyol make caveman noise. Puyol beat chest. Puyol eat meat. Puyol good. Good Puyol. Goooooood Puyol.
周一-普约尔:普约尔可以像山顶洞人一样咆哮;普约尔可以学猩猩双手击胸。普约尔可以吃肉。普约尔真牛逼,真~~~牛逼~~

Further schedule details will follow early next week. Also, please note that Sandro Rosell must now be referred to you as 'Your Majesty' or 'Your Holy Awesomeness'. Anyone failing to do so will be made go for a sleepover with Pique and Ibrahimovic.
下周我会给你们更详细的内容,另外,以后记得称呼罗塞尔为陛下或者“真你妈牛逼的罗塞尔”,如有违反者罚去和匹克&伊布3p。
Your cooperation, as always, is much appreciated.
yours etc,
The Barcelona board.
巴塞罗那董事会

ps - we will be paying your wages at some point in the next few weeks. We're not broke at all. Don't believe the papers.
PS. 过几周会发你们工资的,别信那些媒体说的,我们还没破产呢。

pps - a percentage of your wages will be paid via the issuing of shares in the company. You all get a billion each which is worth ... erm ... loads. Trust us. When these stock options hit the roof. Kerching. Quids in, lads. Honest!

PPS. 我们将会用俱乐部的股权来支付你们的部分工资。你们每人能拿到十亿,没错,十亿非常值钱的股票(那是股价涨上去以后的事情了。。。。)。

ppps - to the smart arse who left the 'Haven't you learned your lesson buying players off Arsenal yet?' message in the suggestion box, har har. Have a nice time in New York, asshole.
PPPS. 我看到有个枪迷在意见箱里扔了张纸条,上面说“你们从厂队买人吃亏吃的还不够么?”,哈哈,去你大爷的,接着享受你的纽约时光去吧。

—————— 相声说完了的分界线——————

In other news this morning Arsene Wenger is back in training, he's got a brand new stopwatch and he's going to use it. He also makes new boy Koscielny look a bit midgety.
今早的其他新闻(原文有训练图片的链接):老板回到科尔尼了,刚换了个新秒表。克斯切尔尼站在他身边看着还真有点儿矮。。。。

A bit of a squad list has been put together for Saturday's game against Barnet. A few first team players are mentioned but there's no guarantee any of them will play. I suspect it'll be mostly youngsters with perhaps a few senior faces given a run out. It's still very early in the pre-season.
周六比赛的名单已经出来了,里面有些一队球员,不过没人保证谁会出场。我觉得首发应该都是年轻球员,可能会有些老家伙出来热热身。其实季前准备才刚刚开始而已。

Thierry Henry has signed for the New York Redbulls and his debut will come against Sp*rs. He's still only 32 as well.
亨利签约纽约红牛,首秀将迎战热刺(求证)。他才32而已,依旧年轻的很。

More tomrorow.
明天见

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太正点了。。。。。

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我们会带你去伦敦谈判,等我暗号,受到之后马上倒地哀嚎,一定要让别人觉得他把你全身的骨头都捏碎了
这句写得很棒~~~!
I love three things in this world, the sun ,the moon and arsenal. The sun for the day, the moon for the night, and arsenal forever!

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翻译的很传神,巴萨的队徽被恶搞了。。。

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看得过瘾,伊涅斯塔那段鬼脸的好玩

[ 本帖最后由 巴别塔下的熊 于 2010-7-16 01:19 编辑 ]

怀着我最深爱的美学信念,我必须在此战斗,竭尽全力将知识分子的真诚推向最终、且最为严酷的极限——马塞尔·普鲁斯特

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图片v5

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Wonderful translation !! Nice job ! Thank you!!!!

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引用:
原帖由 素问 于 2010-7-16 00:21 发表
翻译的很传神,巴萨的队徽被恶搞了。。。
你不说我还没注意

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普约尔那段NB,骂人不带脏字

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好帖!!太好了
拖延癌临终患者

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